Joan Rivers arrives to the 78th Annual Academy Awards in 2006.Photograph: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Joan Rivers was as funny as she was feared, especially during Hollywood’s award season. Having built her career on speaking her mind, the comedian became a red carpet fixture in the mid 90s for her praise and criticism of celebrity outfits. In tribute to her cutting one-liners, here is a selection of her best red carpet zingers.
Anna Kendrick (Oscars 2014)
Anna Kendrick at the 2014 Oscars.Photograph: Getty
Joan Rivers: “I like her, such a good actress, but the dress is ill-fitted, the slit is too short at the knee – the bodice of her dress makes her look like she has her left breast in a sling.”
Rivers’ humour wasn’t lost on Kendrick.
RIP Joan Rivers. Being publicly told that my dress is hideous will never feel quite as awesome. You will be truly missed.
Rivers kept her instructions to Kelly Osborne, her purple-haired co-host, simple: “Look away, Kelly! I don’t want you to have to see this: so many of your people have died to make that dress.”
Natalie Portman (2010)
Actress Natalie Portman attends the New York Premiere of Black Swan in 2010.Photograph: Marcel Thomas/FilmMagic
Joan Rivers: “I don’t like that she’s carrying a book. It says: ‘This movie sucks, it’s so boring I’m going to read through it.’”
Lindsay Lohan (various)
Lindsay Lohan attends the GQ men of the year awards in September 2014.Photograph: Ben Pruchnie/FilmMagic
Joan Rivers: “She’s such a disaster, when the trains actually wreck now, they call them ‘Lindsay Lohans.’”
Yesterday, Lindsay finally set the record straight:
We'd fuss but love was there. Cant believe ur gone. Love to your family. You were iconic and trailblazing. RIP Joanpic.twitter.com/hV7fH03gfw
Rhianna at the iHeartRadio awards in 2014.Photograph: AP
Joan Rivers: “I love Rihanna. I think she can do no wrong, but … I have not seen lips that green since Miss Piggy got out of the backseat of Kermit’s car.”
A few months later, and Rihanna was rallying her troops:
Kerry Hilson at a pre-Grammys gala in 2011.Photograph: Getty
Joan Rivers: “I just wanna build a fire, pour champagne, and make love on top of her.”
Florence Welch (2011)
Florence Welch at the 2011 Grammy awards.Photograph: UPI
Joan Rivers: “She was so committed to that bird theme that halfway through, she left the ceremony to go crap on somebody’s windshield.”
Lena Dunham (various, but specifically: 2013)
Dunham at the This is 40 Hollywood premiere.Photograph: Jeff Frank/ Jeff Frank/ZUMA Press/Corbis
When Rivers was questioned about Dunham’s body she said: “I don’t look at her breasts, I’m always reading them.” (In reference to Dunham’s many tattoos.)
Which is why it was so fitting that Dunham eulogized Rivers on Twitter the best way she could:
That being said, Joan is gone but a piece of her lives on: her nose, because it's made of polyurethane.
(CNN) -- Joan Rivers could turn anything into a joke, and that includes her own funeral.
As unearthed by Mashable's Brian Ries, the comedian concocted a very specific, and very funny, burial service wish list in her 2012 book, "I Hate Everyone ... Starting With Me."
Needless to say, Rivers was not planning a simple farewell.
"When I die ... I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action," Rivers says in the book.
"I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way," she continues. "I don't want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents."
Mourners can skip the eulogy, because Rivers would rather have "Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing 'Mr. Lonely.' I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag."
And, last but definitely not least, "I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé's."
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